5 months. I cannot believe it. 5 months and I'm still shocked. 5 months is too long for any of us to be without you.
I have been very busy. Just finished up report cards/parent teacher interviews. They went well considering I had only 3 parents come to see me. Apparently nobody is overly concerned about how their children perform in music class.
Texas was a great musical experience. I learned a lot and ate a tonne of Mexican food. I wish you could have been there to see it. I love travelling with you because you pick up on things that a lot of people don't. Like when we were heading to Havana and you were bombarding our tour guide with questions about Cuban culture, history, and geography. I love that about you!
Last week I took my school choir to perform at the Music Festival. They did a fabulous job, especially considering the fact that we only began practicing in February. The parents who went were really impressed and they thought the kids stood out. I was proud of them as well!
Next week I'm going to Vegas with a coworker and her friend. It will be a nice escape from the deep-freeze that is an Albertan winter, so I'm looking forward to that.
Today has started off pretty crappily. Craig is gone to watch a basketball tournament at his school, and I'm here alone. I was frantically trying to buy Coldplay tickets online, but all the good ones are gone. Right after I came to the realization that the Coldplay concert probably would not be happening, I saw that Winston had chewed a huge hole in the beautiful blanket that Craig and I bought in Thailand. I am not impressed! I know you would laugh at me and tell me that it's not a big deal, but right now it feels big!
Every time I see hockey on TV I have mixed feelings. I will always love the Habs, but it is difficult for me to sit and watch them now when that used to be our tradition. I know you would want me to continue on with the things we did together, but it's difficult. Hockey in general is just something that you and I shared. It feels less meaningful these days.
I wish there was something I could do to bring you back. We all need you here. You were the only reason we ever felt secure and safe. We knew as long as you had a hand in what we were doing, we'd be okay. I think I trusted you more than anybody else. For example, you could drive like a maniac but I never worried about that when I was in the car with you. I just knew that you knew exactly what you were doing and that we were safe. I thought you were invincible. That's likely a big reason why I'm still swimming in disbelief every day.
I'll forever wish you were here. Things will never be the same. I'm trying to be happy again, but know that I'll never be complete and that this fresh void can never be filled. There's nobody in this world like you.
Miss you all the time,
Your baby girl XOXO
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