Golden Comedy

Louis CK with Conan.

He makes so much hilarious sense.

I'm Moving to Australia!

Okay. It's not a complete lie; there is a 1/34 000 chance that I am moving there.

I mean, I'd love to, and with my nomadic personality I don't think it would come as a shock to those who know me if I did end up there within the next couple years. But I'm vying for earlier than the next couple of years. Like say, oh, this Summer?

And what oh what would I do down under? How would I support myself and contribute to my small little family? Glad you asked. Of course I have a plan. Here it is: I would make $100 000 for six months of lying on the beach of the pristine Hamilton Islands, snorkelling with over 1500 different species of fish, learning how to Scuba Dive, exploring the bush, trying out the luxurious spas (you know, just to make sure they're okay), and here's the real kicker: blogging about it all. That last piece might be a little hard to swallow since- you know- I've never blogged before. 

Oh, and if all that wasn't enough, I'd also be living in a beautiful, rent-free, beach-front condo.

I'm not daydreaming, folks. It's a legitimate job from Tourism Queensland. I am completely serious. Here's the website: www.islandreefjob.com  (thanks for the heads up, Barry).

To apply (which I did) people had to upload a 60 second video highlighting why they would be good candidates for the job by February 22. Unfortunately for me, this job has been the recipient of significant worldwide media coverage and so when all was said and done there were 33 999 other applications from travellers in countries all across the globe. There are news anchors and other TV personalities, models, published travel writers- you name it. How's that for competition? I can't decide what I'm more confident about, this or winning the 649 five times in a row.

After viewing several (and by several I mean about 100) videos, I'd say my application was pretty average. It wasn't the most lackluster, but I swear about 50% of the applicants hired Stephen Spielberg or Ron Howard to direct their 60 second videos. Not to mention the professional videographers. Yes, as I struggled on my new Mac to figure out the iMovie feature, people all around the world were making bungee jump applications and creating Dreamworks-esque animations all to be considered for this job which is being dubbed: "Best Job in the World."

So I'm not a professional editor. That doesn't change the fact that I would be awesome at this job. Not a lot of people are able to get paid to do what they absolutely adore doing. I can't even fathom the passion and energy that I would bring there with me.

Alas, here I swim in a lonely sea, nowhere near the Great Barrier Reef. And if the applications were fish mine would be a guppy. Depressing. (Not that there is anything wrong with guppies. I love guppies. I'm really not trying to hate on the guppies).

Hey, I know! As friends/readers/friendly readers you could e-mail Tourism Queensland and talk about how much I've sparked your interest in the Hamilton Islands and how you're definitely going to visit once they crown me Island Caretaker.

...On second thought, they're probably busy processing all those applications. 

Ah- such is the life of a hobo!

Would You Date the Bachelor?

Photo courtesy

Seriously, would you?

This is the first season I've (casually) watched the show in years. I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of addictive. Yet, each time I watch it the feminist part of me feels utter disgust.

This Jason guy is attractive, and seems nice enough in all the interviews. But you know, I can't seem to get past the idea that he's quite possibly just another gigolo and I also have trouble digesting the fact that nobody is calling him out for being a playa'.

It's showbiz. I know that. But why is he portrayed as such a fantastic, good-natured guy when every episode he's conspiring to become the "bedmate" (for lack of a better word) of at least three or four different girls? If someone I knew was acting that way- let's just say I'd be less than impressed.

And the girls. Honestly. Perhaps it's just me, but isn't it a little um, nasty, for the fourth girl to spend the night with Mr. Jason after he's just spent the night with 3 other girls that she knows very little about? Am I really the only person who is grossed out by that thought? No? Anyone? Okay then.

And for the "lucky" lady who gets picked like a flower from a fresh bouquet of other -equally as beautiful- flowers, how special can she actually feel? So Jason  picks this girl, after just discussing in front of a camera how horrendously difficult the decision was to make. He tells anyone who is willing to watch about how he is madly in love with two women, let's call them Delusional Dame One and Delusional Dame Two. He chooses Delusional Dame One, unfortunately for the heartbroken Delusional Dame Two. After the show finishes and the two are wed, Jason and Delusional Dame One decide to watch the show back. Delusional Dame One comes to a heightened realization that the sweet nothings Jason was whispering in her ear were no different than those whispered in the ears of the other dames. Delusional Dame One sees the chemistry between Jason and the other dames and begins to wonder if he ever thinks about any of them or questions whether or not he made the right decision. That night at dinner, Jason and Delusional Dame One run into Delusional Dame Two. Delusional Dame One drives herself crazy trying to push the images of her husband canoodling with a couple dozen other dames out of her mind, all the while trying to determine whether or not she is sensing any electricity between Jason and Delusional Dame Two even as they sit on opposite sides of the room.

Oh, you know it ladies. Even men. It's gonna get messy.

So have fun Jason and whoever you pick. Have fun with your super-authentic, ridiculously- realistic, not-at-all-artificial romance.

Making a List, Checking it Twice

I am making myself crazy.

Why? How?

Because I am not making a list and checking it twice.  I've surpassed "twice" a long, long time ago. No. I am making a list and checking it forty five gazillion trillion bajillion putraextraillion times. It is madness.

My life is becoming all about the list. My life is the list-  a culmination of all the things I "haven't-gotten-to-yet" but "have-to-get-to-immediately." I need a round tuit, but likely wouldn't have time to use it anyway.

At the bottom of my planbook I leave a little space for said list, where I can record all of the things I have to get done right away (school or non-school related). Each day I can cross about 2-3 things off the list. Each day about 5 new things get added on. So it's constantly like one step forward, two steps back. Which is not the correct ratio, but who has time for mathematical calculations anyway.

Point is, I'm running out of space! The list keeps getting longer and longer, and my planbook isn't getting any bigger folks. Of course if that was the only underlying problem in this whole list situation then I wouldn't be so bad off.

It's all piling up. Yet, if I don't write things down, if I don't add to the list, then I'll probably forget what needs to be done. It's becoming quite the stressful ordeal! Each day I am reminded of the once-popular Alabama song that I used to listen to back in the days when I was a huge country music fan (yes, I was there at one point):

I'm in a hurry to get things done

Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live and die

But I'm in a hurry and don't know why. 

Is the only solution to my problem to become less balanced? Really? You see, like most beginning teachers I am eager to become a super-teacher, to do my best and make an impression. But unlike many beginning teachers I refuse to let work completely consume my life at the expense of all of the other important things in my life. I work hard, but I've struck a pretty good balance. I don't stay at the school working until 11 o'clock every night. I come home and eat supper with my husband and play with my puppy.  I do work at home sometimes too, but I always incorporate a bit of "me" time in there.

So I just can't help but wonder if the only way to ever conquer my list is to let the scale tip a little. A thought that frustrates me because I know within myself that the less balanced I become, the less happy I'll be. I would be more efficient, but inevitably less effective. 

I'd love nothing more than to burn the stinking list. This list that dictates my life and continually makes me feel as though I'm accomplishing nothing. But until I figure out the best solution, you can find me here, kicking a dead horse- a slave to the list.

The Sound of Music

I directed my first musical in December. It was a great experience for me and while I was singing the songs in my sleep by mid-December, I quite enjoyed the whole ordeal.

I recently returned from the Texas Music Educators Conference (TMEA) in San Antonio. What an inspiring few days I had there. To see primary/elementary school kids singing in perfect harmony or rocking out on the instruments made me more eager to ignite some sort of similar passion for music in my own students.

Not only that, but it made me that much more aware of how important music is in my life. 

The musical opportunities students in Texas have compared to our students here in Canada is astonishing. Most schools have a position specifically for a choir director and assistant choir director. The general music teachers are then not spread as thin. Don't get me wrong, I love directing my choir, but I don't have nearly enough time to practice with them as much as I would like. I can't spend enough time with them to help them reach their full potential and that bothers me. I guess I just have to do the best I can with the time I have.

So basically, Texas was amazing and I have a new appreciation for what kids are capable of musically. What I saw there makes me want to be a better music teacher for them; makes me want to show them to love music as much as I do.

Texas

San Antonio is beautiful and definitely a nice escape from a Canadian winter.

Valentine's Day '09

This Valentine's day I will be in Texas, and not with Craig. I'm leaving tomorrow so we decided to partly celebrate it tonight.

And since I probably won't get much of a chance to post from San Antonio, I wanted to post this today.

Craig, I love you. I couldn't have dreamed up someone better. Thank you for consistently treating me like a princess and for making me a better person.  Thank you for being the best friend I've ever had. I hope you enjoy this.

For Daddy - February 2008

Dear Daddy,

This month will make it four that you've been gone.  Six since I've last seen you. Yet it feels no less surreal and painful than when I first learned about it. I think I've figured out a few coping mechanisms, but my heart is still - and forever will be - broken. 

Yesterday I had the kind of day where I was so busy and engrossed in what I was doing that I didn't have much time to think about the major events that have taken place in my life recently. I hate days like that because as they draw to a close there comes the inevitable moment when I feel the pure shock of it again. My jaw literally drops and I still think, as I have thought from the beginning, "this cannot be true. This is not real."

That is one of my aforementioned coping mechanisms. Because I was away from you for so long, in Korea last year and here this year, it comes somewhat naturally to me to just pretend that you're still there. I still think you're alive and going strong about 85% of the time. Some people might suggest that it is not a good way to deal with death. That I need to face reality and try to move on from there. But hey, whatever gets me through the day - right?

We all miss you so much. On Wednesday I'm flying to Texas for a music educators conference. Pretty exciting, but I wish Craig could go. I have an insecure attachment. :) 

I have also started up a choir at my school. There are nearly forty kids in there, and just me trying to direct them all! Not the easiest of tasks, but I enjoy it just the same. We're preparing for the music festival which is coming up in March and we're doing two selections. One of which you will know for sure: Lean on Me.  And we're doing that a cappella. We'll see how it goes!

I got evaluated by my principal the other day. She said I did a good job! I was happy to hear that, since you know how much I hate to be evaluated in any way. 

Winston is doing well. Still enriching our lives. He's been good for my heart, Daddy. I wish you could meet him, pick at him, and make him saucy!

Also, last month I wrote a tribute to you that got published in the Globe & Mail. I'm so happy that I did that for you. I know you're not the kind of person who likes being up front and center, but I hope I did you proud. I just needed as many people as possible to read about you and the amazing person you were.

I wish I could give you a big hug. I wish you were around constantly trying to give us all hugs as per usual. You could give us as many as you want, we'd never push you away.

Love,

Your baby girl XOXO

First Vlog Ever

Cambodia

Last spring,

When Craig and I decided to travel to Cambodia, we went because we wanted to explore the temples, particularly Angkor Wat (which actually ended up not even being my favourite temple). We had the obligatory beach-time on the Perhentian Islands in Malaysia, so we immersed ourselves in some important history and education in Cambodia. Also, many of our friends in Korea had gone and come back singing the praises of the beautiful Cambodian people with a rich, albeit poverty-stricken culture.

Our friends were completely right. Cambodia was beautiful as a country and the people were even more beautiful. Their smiles were heartwarming. Despite having every right to frown, the Cambodian people chose to smile.

But, it was not a vacation. It was not a holiday. It was not relaxing like Malaysia or Thailand.

I can't think of any better word to describe our short time in Cambodia than: heavy. It was eye-opening. It was educating. It was not fun. Let me explain why.

We went to the Killing Fields and learned first-hand about the genocide that had taken place there. We saw all around us the people who were still feeling the effects of it. And here we were, two tourists travelling to all these different countries in Asia, on the outside looking in. Of course tourists are important for the Cambodian economy. Thank goodness for Angkor Wat and the other temples. But in the midst of extreme poverty I became hyper-aware of the fact that were travelling to three different countries within the matter of a few days (which, let's face it, isn't cheap) while everywhere I looked there were kids who had no shoes on their feet and no clothes on their backs.

No matter where our tuk-tuk stopped, as soon as our driver began to slow we would be swarmed with young children and adults alike begging us to buy their beautiful hand-made souvenirs or pieces of art for dirt cheap. Desperate to help we purchased more than enough bracelets and paintings, but to buy from everybody would have left us stranded in Siem Reap. To hand money to one little girl as another watched in desperation - heartbreaking.

We went to the war museum and took a look at the statistic books which showed how many Cambodians had been injured or killed by land mines. And sadly, land mines are actually still around in some parts of the country.

Our driver. His name was Bun Horn, his nickname was Plate. For the smallest of fees he brought us all around Siem Reap in his tuk-tuk. He spent entire days in the hot sun, lying in his tuk-tuk as we ventured around the massive temples. Needless to say we gave him several tips and invited him to dinner with us a few times - he deserved that and so much more. During the meals we ate with him, he told us the details of his difficult family history as well as the even more difficult history of the country. He spoke with such sincerity and candor that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. Yet, he smiled more brightly than anyone I've ever known. His smile has made an imprint in my mind which I am certain will last forever.

Whenever I think of the other countries I visited in Southeast Asia I feel a sense of peace and relaxation. Whenever I think of Cambodia, I feel panicked, I feel heavy-hearted and I feel helpless.

I guess my point is, if you're thinking of travelling to Cambodia - don't bother going there for a holiday. Go there only if you feel ready for an overwhelming, mind-boggling, heart-wrenching slap in the face from our mutual friend: reality.

My Rationale

I've finally figured it out.

After some profound self-reflection last night I've finally realized what my problem is. And probably a lot of yours too.

Cycles. Routines. Lack of closure. That's why so many of us have a hard time committing to certain tasks. That's why so many of us procrastinate when it comes to things that feel meaningless.

Take housework, for example. You can clean until you're blue in the face but that won't stop the dust from accumulating again the minute after you've broken your toe because you fell off a chair while trying to wipe the ceiling fan. I enjoy a clean house as much as the next person. Martha, even. But how menial a task.

Getting ready each morning is such a chore. Every day I struggle with the reality that no matter how clean I feel after a refreshing shower, no matter how much makeup I put on or how long I spend straightening my hair, the next morning when I wake up I will feel dirty and disgusting and probably won't look much better than I feel. Time to repeat it all over again.

In university the only real satisfaction I had was the day I completed my last exam and handed in my last paper. Each time I handed something in or wrote an exam prior to that day, I experienced a morsel of relief but not true satisfaction. I knew I'd have another exam and probably ten more assignments within a week.

Even at this point in my life I'm aware that I'll eventually be back at school. So perhaps the completion of my B.Ed wasn't exactly pure satisfaction - just a higher degree of relief.

I can cook a feast fit for a king. I can eat until they have to roll me to my bed and call the army to hoist me up. I'll still be hungry again tomorrow.

I can sleep until I forget what light looks like. I can nap until I require therapy to be taught how to open my eyes again. It doesn't change the fact that I will feel tired again in the not too distant future.

I think a lot of us waver when we can't conquer. At least that's my story. Those who have climbed Everest can stand on the summit and scream at the top of their lungs. What an accomplishment; something that can never be taken away or diminished. Once they've done it, they've done it. They can always do it again, but nothing can steal away the sense of fulfillment they access when they get to say: "I made it to the top of Everest."

I like a task that I can vanquish. Something so great that I initially feel like I am attempting the utterly impossible. Something so intimidating that I think I don't have a chance. Then when I make it happen I am exposed to the most authentic form of satisfaction and the deepest level of accomplishment.

I know, life is comprised of small, daily tasks - which also count. Not everything can be a big adventure or a grand feat. But hey, I'd settle for just not having to sleep or clean.

Slacker

The irony of this post is that I'm only posting to talk about how slack I've been in not posting for a few days. 

I'm insanely busy right now. But, we will soon return to our regularly scheduled programming.