Goodbye North America.... Hello Europe!

Quickie blog post since it's the last day of July and I'm boarding a plane to London in a few hours.

Backpacks are filled, Wal-Mart is emptied, most goodbyes are said - and we're excited!

Our first-year anniversary is on August 5th, we'll be in Paris for that. I can't say it's been a great year - look at all that has transpired. It's been a tough year. What I can say is that I don't know how I would have gotten through it if it weren't for Craig. He's such a great guy and I'm glad I made the decision just a little under a year ago to take the plunge with him!

I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have for blogging while in Europe. However, I am going to re-try my hand at journaling, so at least when I get back to my lovely, sleek, little silver MacBook (oh, how I'll miss you, friend) I'll be able to write a few EuroBlogs. But who knows, maybe I'll have all the time in the world for blogging once I'm there.

Signing off now. Peace in the middle east, rain in Spain! (Doesn't really matter to me - I'm not going there this time around anyway).

Beethoven & Michael Jackson

Photo Courtesy

Beethoven's most famous work was probably his ninth symphony. I taught my students this year that somebody paid 1.3 million for the original manuscript of Beethoven's 9th. Upon further research I've found that the working document recently sold for more than 2.1m pounds.

Growing up I heard stories about Beethoven's temper and crazy antics. This year when I taught my students about Beethoven I learned a thing or two myself.

Sure, he was eccentric and harsh. Yes, he cut the legs off of his pianos and threw cold buckets of water over his head. He wrote music on the window shades and walked around saying things like: "there are, and have been thousands of princes, but there is only one Beethoven."

What I didn't know until recently was that his father would go around lying to people about Beethoven's age, telling people that he was younger than he actually was so that he would seem like a child prodigy. What I didn't know was that his father would also wake Beethoven up at midnight, lock him in a cold cellar and make him play the piano until the sun was rising in the sky and tears were streaming down his little face.

Not only that, but music was Beethoven's life. It meant everything to him. Hearing was the most important of the five senses to him, and then he even lost that. Imagine how sad and alone he must have felt when he could not even hear his own masterpieces being played.

Beethoven never really had a childhood. He lost so many family members. He was an incredibly gifted individual, but a misunderstood man. There are always reasons why people might act the way they do.

I believe there are some similarities to be drawn between Beethoven and Michael Jackson, crazy as that sounds. I'm aware that many people shudder at the very thought of MJ and that to many he is already a criminal (though, let's not forget, he was never convicted of anything).

Photo Courtesy

No matter what you believe about whether or not he was a creep, Michael Jackson was also a very talented guy who was deprived of a childhood and then misunderstood as a man. I cannot make any judgments about him - I have no idea how he actually chose to live his life. Though, I can think of a number of reasons why someone might think it would be a good idea to take someone like MJ to court - he did pretty well for himself financially there for awhile. And the fact that the families accusing him dropped the lawsuits for money says something to me. No amount of money would appease me or my family if the horrible things he was accused of was done to someone we love.

But I'm not really writing this to speculate about what MJ did or didn't do. It's more about how easy it is to look at somebody and paste a label on them, shove them into our comfortable little categories without ever really thinking about the fact that we're all a result of where we came from - what we've been through.

I'm glad that Beethoven lives on as a legend despite his unkind persona. I'm glad that MJ lives on as a legend despite his sometimes strange behaviour here on Earth. I hope that now these tortured souls can finally find rest.

For Daddy - July 2009

Dear Daddy,

This month I've made my way home and just as I suspected, it's been tough. Now more than ever I realize that while I did have to figure out a way to return to my job after everything went down, returning to my job was also a convenient excuse to run away from the very thing that I found too hard to come to terms with.

Here - I don't exactly have a choice. It's everywhere I look and in everyone I see. Sometimes it sits there like a big, fat purple elephant in the room, and other times I do allow myself to be momentarily open and honest with a select few. I quickly try to compose myself, of course, but I know it's natural. Many firsts that my family have already experienced are just happening for me - like a new cut every day.

It's how I know that running doesn't solve anything - it just prolongs the process. Yet, somehow, I think perhaps that is what I wanted all along. There's a strange comfort in remaining sad about this, because it might mean you haven't been gone all that long.

Since returning I've been very busy. Back and forth, here and there, all around the Island. So much for relaxing before my trip to Europe. I have a distant memory of mid-June and me saying to Craig: "This will be the first Summer in a LONG time that I haven't worked. It will be nice to relax!" Relax? I think we've done everything but. However, it is nice to be home -despite the obvious gaping hole that exists here. It's good to be back with the people that matter - despite having to constantly miss one of the most important ones.

I wish you were here to tell me again about your trips to Europe so that I could get some tips from you. Not just that, but everyday I have to worry about things that I really don't understand like car issues, insurance, pension plans, money ordeals - you know, grown-up stuff that I never cared to learn about. I often think or say aloud to Craig: "Who's going to tell us what needs to be done and when now that Daddy is gone?" You were like the brains behind every operation. How do people know when to do stuff if nobody tells them? I'd never be concerned about getting into hot water for driving while my car registration is expired if you were here. I'd think: "If my car was supposed to be registered, Daddy would have told me about it."

Clearly I was more than a little dependent on you. We all were. You knew everything, somehow. I guess somebody told you these things once upon a time too.

Craig and I went to "town" the other day to see some apartments. On the way in I realized that it would be my first time back since the darkest days of my life. That was difficult in itself, and then I saw a sign advertising a place that now represents so much pain and anguish to me. It was just one of the several times I've gotten emotional since being back.

You know, we may still be swimming through an ocean of sadness, but at least we're still swimming. Any inch we move toward peace and happiness is still progress. And we do it for you - because we know without a doubt that you want us to have peace and be happy. We're getting there. It will always be the crappiest deal ever, but we're getting there.

Andrew's complexion is darker than Isaac's. His head is rounder and his eyes are poppier. We all say he reminds us of you. I think we all desperately want him to be exactly like you. He'll be christened on Sunday: Andrew Raymond Marc. See, he even has two of your names.

Some people have really lousy families. I mean when I hear about men who beat their wives and their children, I get really angry. I'm not going to lie - I have, on occasion, thought that it's pretty unfair that men like that get to live while men like you die. You were the most incredible father, husband and person I know. And you were ours. Even with this new reality that is also ours, we're lucky.

One of the main things I keep telling myself is that you'll never know this pain. It gets me through. You lost your mom, but it was expected, and she lived a full and happy life. You would have accepted it if you'd had the chance. I don't think any pain exists that is greater than losing someone you love so completely when you know they had so much ahead of them, so much left to accomplish. Daddy, you'll never have to know what it's like to lose your wife, your child, too soon. Perhaps then, you hit a streak of luck, too.

Miss you everyday, love you forever,

Your baby girl XOXO

Eurotrip 2009

Ever since I was a little girl with teased bangs and crimped hair which resembled corrugated cardboard, I've loved travel and adventure.

In fact, I remember how I felt at just four years old when I was about to embark on a very long, very hot drive (sans air conditioning) with my parents, sister and friends to Florida. I could nearly taste the excitement in the sultry Summer air.

I grew up in a house that did not have another house behind it. Instead, when I walked just slightly beyond my backyard I was walking through another world; a world of rolling hills, thousands of trees, obscure paths and massive rocks to climb. It was my playground.

In Newfoundland, I think that's how many of us grew up. At least those of us who lived outside of the city.

Yet, for me (and for Craig too, fortunately) that same spirit of adventure and love for freedom and new experiences I had as a kid never dissipated. I think it's hard for a lot of people to understand why we aren't looking for a place to settle and have a family now that we're married. Some people have always dreamt of that; their house, their babies, the quaint city they would live in.

Not me. I do eventually want a house and maybe even a place to call "home." But right now, I'm happy to say that the world is my home and that's how I like it. There's nothing wrong with
that - it's just a different lifestyle than what most are probably accustomed to. And there's nothing wrong with settling right away either if that's what floats your boat.

To satisfy the hunger that Craig and I have to see the world and do as much as we can while we still can (because you just never know) - we've decided to go on a backpacking adventure in Europe.

I remember when my parents took a group of students to Europe on a school trip. I couldn't go. I was thoroughly disappointed back then, so this is a trip long overdue.

We leave July 31 and return August 21. Not as long as I would have liked, but we have to get back and get, um, settled into an apartment that we don't have yet.

Here's what we're thinking:

England --> France --> Switzerland --> Italy --> Greece --> Austria --> Germany

(Other possibilities, depending on time constraints, include: Belgium, Scotland, Ireland).

We're not planning to book a tour or hotels or anything - just playing it by ear and going with the European flow. Most of our trips in Asia were kind of spontaneous and unplanned. It's more fun and exciting that way not to mention it leaves lots of room for new opportunities!

So, it's official because we booked the flights last night. First stop: London, England!

If any of you have been on a Eurotrip, give me ideas! Give me your must-sees!

7000! (and 25)

I was waiting for the 7000th hit to make a celebratory party-post, but it's now up to 7025! Anyway, yay 7025!

Not to mention that it either already is the one year anniversary of this blog, or it will be soon. Milestone!

And today I finished my creative travel writing course. To be honest, I'm glad to be done with it.

I've been extremely busy and am about to get busier! There are lots of things coming up for me. I'll keep you posted....

What Matters

What matters?

People and place.

In that order.

And well, peace too, if you're into alliteration.

Current things making my heart smile:

#1: NL scenery and air

#2: My family (including two beautiful and absolutely entertaining nephews)

#3: Familiarity

#4: Progress

#5: Not really knowing for sure what the future holds.

On the Atlantic

I'm here just hanging out here in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Seriously.

The infamous "Caribou" has moved up a class and installed WiFi. My saving grace. I cannot sleep so I'm resorting to blogging. Not that, you know, blogging is something that needs to be resorted to.

Now just a few hours from home, I'm finally getting a chance to reflect upon this cross-Canada roadtrip. In a way it's been more comfortable than the trip from east to west because we kind of know what is waiting for us across the Atlantic. But going home, while an exciting return to the familiar, is also slightly frightening because there are realities to deal with there that I haven't had to directly deal with for awhile.

I was supposed to be in this position last night, but of course Craig and I missed the ferry. Two days in Halifax and still couldn't make it to the boat on time. Those of you who know us are not surprised.

There have been lots of laughs and drugs along the way. Prescription drugs, that is. For the puppies, that is. Winnie was scared out of her wits every time the car was in motion - but we were thankful that she was at least quiet about it. Winston, on the other hand.... Well lets just say he was a happy puppy after we fed him the "magic cheese" as we tend to refer to it. There was only so long I could keep the block of cheese in the glove compartment before it went moldy, but it saved us quite a bit of frustration. Stuffing that little, yellow quarter-of-a-pill into a tiny piece of marble cheese brought us infinite pleasure. Particularly when only seconds after ingestion Winston's piercing whines turned into yawns. Peace. Don't worry, the vet was the one who suggested this so he's doing A-Ok.

Except now I'm worried about the little youngins' down in the car because they wouldn't do their business before we left. Puppies have small bladders. Who knows what kind of sights we'll see upon docking.

Canada day was one of my favourite moments of this trip. We were in Winnipeg and after going to a huge festival at "The Forks" we ate Korean for the first time with one of our dear Canadian coworkers that we met in Korea. Also we went to a party with a bunch of her friends and got to hear a great little bluegrass band and see some of the best crappy fireworks ever. We stayed with her at her house and got to spend some QT. It was great because she was the first in-Korea-Canadian-friend we've seen since our return.

We were all over dt Halifax. We spent two nights there and went to this great little pub with excellent live music. Not to mention lots of Mexican food and Cora's. Mmm fine dining.

Stayed at a bunch of nice hotels and a couple sketchy ones. We like to balance things out that way. Ate at a bunch of nice restaurants and several sketchy ones, too.

I'm not entirely sad to see the end of this journey, though. We've been beating around for nearly two weeks with two small puppies. That's not easy considering one is not 100% trained and dogs are territorial and into routine. It will be good to let them flake.

So home sweet home, here I come! It's been awhile.

Peace out from the Atlantic.

So Far....

Cold Lake to Saskatoon

Saskatoon to Winnipeg (... 2 nights. Canada day was spent with a coworker from Korea. We ate at a delicious Korean restaurant and celebrated with a bunch of her friends, cheap fireworks and a lovely bluegrass band).

Winnipeg to Thunder Bay

Thunder Bay to Saulte Ste. Marie

Saulte Ste. Marie to Pembroke (... it was supposed to be Ottawa but my driver quit).

I am several thousand kilometers closer to home. That feels good.